It’s Friday and this week’s Five Minute Friday one-word-prompt is Inspire. Feel free to link up over at www.fiveminutefriday.com! We would love to have you join our writing community. Or read others’ reflections on Inspire!
START
I have been feeling less than inspired lately. This comes from a month of stress, sadness, disappointments, and, well, for no better word, anxiety.
I desire hope and peace. I desire to feel the rush of inspiration and joy. But life is not giving that out right now.
Last week I was especially bored and frustrated with my life as it is. I felt I could not spend one more minute inside of my house or I might start screaming at the walls. I had received another “strong candidate” email from a potential employer that resulted in, “but we’re going with another candidate” and I was crushed.
I desired to NOT allow this letter to define something in me, but it did.
I struggle to not perform. Let me rephrase that. I struggle to know I am worthy even if my performance is less than shiny. Even if I don’t get that job. Even if I don’t have a successful speech, or blog post, or Trades of Hope month, or whatever.
I could easily look to a self-help talk or book to inspire me to move on. To get my butt in the chair and keep writing anyways. To pick myself up again “even though.”
(Side note: What’s more inspiring than this picture? All of the inspirational images together, right??)
But my husband and I were just talking over lunch about our need to not be inspired to change our own lives, but to surrender ourselves to the God who has already given us all things.
The God who has given us righteousness.
The God who has given us love.
The God who has given us sonship (and daughtership) through adoption.
The God who has promised us the Kingdom.
I cannot pull myself together. No amount of inspiration will change that.
But I can lay myself down at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to continue His work in me. To provide and love.
In that I have hope and peace.
STOP
Hmmm… I did not think it would end there. It is fascinating to me what the work of writing can do in my own soul. How just sitting and writing for 5 minutes can bring a shift in myself. How writing is a spiritual practice of unearthing hurts and fears while bringing about truth and resolution.
What do you think? Does inspiration work for you? What does writing do for you?
I hear ya sister! I’ve been interviewing recently too. I heard “You’ve impressed a lot of people but….” God will soon lead you to that right place friend. I’m over in the 7 spot this week.
A beautiful post! I am lifting you up in my prayers right now for peace, hope, inspiration, and victory in every area. I pray Isaiah 54:17 over you and your family, as well as Isaiah 40:31. Stay the course, my sister! Rest in Him and He will supply your every need.
Thank you so much, Rebecca. So many have been praying for us. I am encouraged.
Leah, You’ve made such a good point. “But I can lay myself down at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to continue His work in me. To provide and love.” We are soul sisters. What you shared here describes so much of my own identity. I find it difficult to shake off a less than stellar message or post. But then I recognize my “paralysis” has placed me where Satan desires: not moving forward with God’s grace surrounding me. My husband has received a few of those discouraging replies similar to those you mentioned. We are trying to be mindful of God’s promises to us through scripture and cling to them with every bit of strength left.
There are definitely days when I struggle to see him working and that sucks the life out of me. But writing is so often how I find my way back. Isn’t it amazing that we serve a God who can do more than we can ask or even imagine (Eph 3:20)?!
Coming to you from FMF 🙂
Hi Janyre! I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your comment right away. It has been an absolutely crazy week. God is so faithful to us and it blows my mind! <3
Love your honesty and transparency here, Leah. Illness forced me out of the workforce, and my job now is to support my wife as she climbs the corporate ladder. She’s really, really goo, and really, really anxious.
You’re in our prayers.
#1 at FMF this week
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/07/your-dying-spouse-342-heres-deal-said.html
Somehow I missed your comment earlier this week. Thank you for your prayers. They mean a lot. I will be praying for your wife. Anxiety is so frustrating to witness and to experience.