I find myself swirling in the downward spiral of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I am overwhelmed with packing, I feel I’m not doing or haven’t done enough to make Saturday successful and so I feel bad about myself. The pain is back in my chest, the hurt over not feeling loved, not feeling valuable. And […]
The Shoulds
From the days of June Cleaver (and perhaps earlier?), there have been expectations of what a mother and wife should do. While I get incredibly angry over the idea that she should be submissive – even subservient to her husband, put everything aside for the sake of her children, and is responsible for the actions […]
R&R… what’s that again?
On Monday I bought a home pregnancy test. No, I’m not pregnant, but the way I have been feeling the last week or so made me wonder. I have had an insatiable appetite, been nauseous, had cramps, and was light-headed. The way my body was acting, I thought something must have gone wrong with my […]
An Invitation
The hours and days following the birth of my son, Jack, are a haze to me. I don’t remember anything besides working hard to get him to latch on to my breast every two to three hours which consisted of his crying, followed by my crying, and eventually a successful feed. I was functioning off […]
“I love you more”
This is a devotional I wrote for my cousin-in-law Jamie’s baby shower. It was birthed out of my own struggles in the early months of motherhood. My struggle to bond, my struggle to breastfeed, my struggle to sleep, my struggle to thrive. But in all of the struggles, the deep love for I felt for […]