I’m banging my head against the wall today.

I signed up my kids for VBS this week because I want them to learn about Jesus through fun songs, crafts and games. And, honestly? I also signed them up so I could have some time to myself and so that they would come home ready to nap. No whining. No questions. Just the sweet silence of sleep.

It happened yesterday! Yesterday was perfect. Even my five year old napped for two hours – and so did I!

But today… today Ben must have had a snooze on the ride home, because even though I dropped him off at VBS this morning glossy eyed with fatigue, he’s still awake now.

I fought for the nap. Really I did. For an hour I sent him back to bed. I lay down with him. I gave him a snack. I rubbed his back. And he just kept boomeranging back to me.

Commence head banging.

2014-07-29_15.33.54I realized I had a choice to make. Continue on with the fight I was clearly losing. Or give in.

I gave in.

But my attitude was fatalistic.

This is going to suck. He is going to be whining at me All.Day.Long. I am going to be whining. God help me. God help me. God help me.

So, I did what any rational mama would do. I hid in the basement.

But then I actually did pray…

God, I don’t know how to get through days like this. I hate days like this. How do I do this? Really, how?

In a few short minutes, I didn’t just give in, I accepted it. And I had an answer. Treat today like a sick day. Because in reality, if the sleep-deprived child is not sick, he will be.

So, Wild Kratts is on. Continuously. And for Jack, Up! is on in the other room.

2014-07-29 15.49.08And I am here, choosing to be constructive.* Choosing to continue on with my day. Choosing to seek God when my attitude is worse than my kids’. I still wish they were napping, but today it seems that I need to just go with it, make the best of it, and do what’s needed to honor my kids and honor my God.

Here’s hoping for an early bedtime.

Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life… (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)

*Please know this isn’t easy. I don’t say this flippantly or with the expectation that I will succeed. I just continue on, trusting God’s grace to help me on what is sure to be a frustrating, head banging day.

UPDATE: He actually IS sick. #facepalm