As I put my children to bed for the night, apologies were in order. They did not listen well, this is true. They also did not deserve the level of anger and frustration that came their way from their worn mama who was just trying to keep it all together.
As we finished up in the bathroom, I asked my son to pray for me. He repeated his daily plea that he does not know how and stated that I should pray for me.
He was right. I needed to go before my Father, and he needed to witness it.
So I asked for forgiveness. I asked for grace. And as my son climbed into bed, I asked for mercy.
“What’s mercy?”
“Mercy is help in your time of need. It is love from God to get you through. Mercy is goodness and grace and forgiveness… Jack means God is gracious,” I add.
“So, when you’re yelling at me: Jack!!! you’re saying God is gracious?”
The thought lingers. “Yes.”
giggles
“Do you forgive me?”
“Yes.”
“Ben, do you forgive me?”
nods.
I shut out the light, collapse on the couch and as I repeat my cry to God for his forgiveness in the hypocrisy of my life, the blessing from ages past wells up in my heart, tears dampen my eyes. I finally turn and rest in Him.
May His blessing, His face be turned towards you, tonight.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4C9zVg5X_A&w=853&h=480]This post is part of the larger Five Minute Friday community found on Kate Motaung’s blog. We write, for five minutes, together. No major edits. No second guesses, just writing to connect, to grow, to be. Today’s writing prompt: Turn.
Oh yes…I’ve had days like this too (in fact, last night was just like that for me with my crazy clan! Yes, God is gracious (remember that when you step on a misplaced matchbox car tonight friend!).
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Haha! Will do. Thanks for your words!
What an incredible mamma your boys have. A mamma who will humble herself and ask forgiveness. A mamma who demonstrates her relationship with the Lord in front of her boys. A mamma who is real and then gives example of grace and mercy received from her Father 🙂 <3
Thank you, Sarah!
Oh, I have been there more times than I can count! It’s so important to show our kids that moms need to seek forgiveness, too. And praise God that he is faithful to show us mercy and forgive us every time we ask!
Amen.
Oh my goodness! How many times have I been there? Sometimes parenting is so hard and by the time you get to the end of your day, you are just tapped out and the slightest provocation is likely to spark an angry word or a yelled command. I really struggle with this a lot, but I do try to apologize to my children when I’m in the wrong and ask their forgiveness. I may start asking them to pray for me too. That’s a wonderful idea! This is such an excellent take on today’s FMF prompt! Thanks for sharing your heart 🙂
Thank you for your kind words, Therese. I have found there is strangely nothing more freeing than admitting my wrong and my need. I often thought my parents did nothing wrong and was so confused when they hurt my feelings. This is me, trying to do it a little different than them. Thanks for your comment!
Every mom has been there; but not every mom seeks forgiveness and that is a blessing you give your children! This is a beautiful post and I pray God continues to bless you as you raise your precious kids!
It’s such an awesome example to give to our kids…saying we’re sorry, asking forgiveness, resting in grace. I think it shows them why we need a Savior and how important it is so turn to Him. It shows them that even when they can’t come to us, they can go to Him and receive that relentless grace. Related to and enjoyed your words here…thank you!! 🙂
I hope so! I remember thinking my parents never did anything wrong and then felt ashamed if my feelings were hurt by them. Thank you for your words of affirmation.
I remember thinking my parents were doing wrong and wondering why they didn’t have to apologize, but I did, when I did. 🙂 Your way, my way, God’s way is so much better and it’s teaching them the way they should go. We’ll pray they don’t part from it…and trust Him for it. 🙂