I have sat down to write this post about 15 times. Sometimes on paper, others in my head. Each attempt to document the changes and uncertainties of our life, I find myself tongue tied. Paralyzed. Unable to describe where we are. Where I am.
We have been in Minnesota for 9 weeks now. We have seriously considered 5 different cities, 3 different business location, 4 different houses, and 5 different churches.
I am exploring new grocery stores, potential schools, and a new community center all with the awareness that it all will change. Not if. When.
Life feels like a heavy wash cycle. We have been pre-soaked, pre-rinsed, and agitated. Just when I think we are in the final spin, more soap is added, more water pours in. I am waiting for the final rinse, but I sense stains remain to be scrubbed away.
Yet as I’m tossed and turned, water-logged with fears and frustrations, if I stop to listen the Holy Spirit reminds me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:34 (HSCB):
Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
“Don’t worry.” At times this command seems trite and unfeeling. The cynic in me heckles, “Easy for him to say. He created the world, of course he’ll be okay in it!” But the “Therefore” calls me back to the words Jesus said before. He is not calling us to leave worry behind without reason. Begrudgingly I look back to the text, “Ok, Lord, why should I not worry?”
“Look up,” Jesus says.
“Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?” (Matthew 6:26)
“Look down,” he adds.
“Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you?” (Matthew 6:28-30)
As I spin and fret, worry and brood, my actions reveal my belief – rather my unbelief: I don’t believe God cares for me much. My life is like the life of a non-believer: one who wanders without God.
But God cares for the birds. Heck, God cares for the grass that boarders our homes.
“Aren’t you worth more?”
Christ challenges me to believe: I am worth more. You are worth more.
We are so valued that God chose to make us with the glory of His image. (Psalm 8:5)
We are so valued that He gave up his thrown in heaven in order to die that we might live. (Philippians 2:5-11; 1 Peter 2:24)
We are so valued that we do not need to worry about our next meal or shelter. Not because we strive and are financially secure, but because He sees our needs and provides.
I am brought back to God’s simple call on my life to seek Him. Seek life from His presence. Peace from His Spirit. The Joy of Salvation. While all else may change – jobs, homes, churches, friendships – He will remain. Always working, always caring, always providing.
Great is Thy Faithfulness.
Thank you for sharing this my friend! You know I am in such a similar spot. Many unknowns ahead for us too. Remembering who we are in His eyes helps me to trust the process and the journey that we have been called to. I am encouraged by your companionship along the way… Even if one is in California and one is in Minnesota. 🙂
It’s so amazing how similar our lives are right now. Thank you for your words. It is tempting (as always) to feel alone. Thanks for reminding me I’m not!
Good truth for my soul.
I’m grateful.