The Way of Gratitude: Day 7 (originally posted here)
Looking back on this post, I can still feel my frustration My sense of uncertainty about who I am, what I do, how I do it…
When I wrote months ago about being a Highly Sensitive Person, I may have mentioned how sometimes I feel very different than others I interact with. Ok, I don’t remember if I did say that, but I don’t have time to look back now. The truth is, I often do feel as though I approach life from a different perspective. I see this with family, friends, coworkers, and strangers. I talk about things differently (more feelings and less weather). I see big pictures instead of little details. And I often feel… different.
Today, I was frustrated with seeing things different than someone else and I began wondering if I was wrong. Sometimes when this happens, I start to wonder if I’m a little crazy. Why don’t they see what’s clear to me? Am I living in a different reality? (I might ask)
I was kind of worked up about this particular conflict of ideas when I called a friend who has the same temperament as I do. There I found someone who understood me. Someone who made me feel a little less crazy and “out there.” And she gave me ideas on what to do about this conflict going forward, because she too can see the big picture from an abstract point of view. We have Like Minds and I am so very grateful for her friendship.
Wow. Vague. I know. But have you ever been so flustered, overwhelmed, and lonely that you have been unable to express yourself? Have you ever felt like there is no answer, solution, or possible outcome? That’s how I felt. Like I was pinballing off of everyone else, not able to land. And then I had my friend. My safety. God has continued to provide places of safety. Like Minds. And I continue to be astounded by His faithfulness in affirming that He made me to be me.
The road to self-acceptance has been long. Winding. With detours, black ice, and sink holes. But as God continues to provide people who affirm me, I am beginning to be able to affirm myself and pray David’s pray of Thanksgiving:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139:13-14
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