If you know me personally you know I always geek out over personality assessments. When I learned how to facilitate Meyers-Briggs typing, I forced my entire family to take the test. I think I know their MBTI types better than they do. So it is probably no surprise to them how excited I get over the Enneagram.

But there is something different about the Enneagram that isn’t found in other temperament typing systems and that is the WHY. WHY does someone do what they do? I could describe a person’s reactions, their preferences, if they are an introvert or an extrovert, but that doesn’t really get at the core of the person. It doesn’t necessarily help them understand their inner motivations, thoughts, and desires. Why they withdraw. Why they have bursts of temper, anxiety, or insecurity.

The prophet Jeremiah once pondered: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

The Enneagram helps us dive into deeper understanding of our hearts.

1. Discover your strengths and your True Self who God created you to be

First, the positive. Many people are turned off by the Enneagram because it does have a tendency to focus on the negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors people have. The reason for this is because Enneagram teachers desire people to be aware of the things that keep people back from being the people they are meant to be (more on this in a minute).

One of the most powerful parts of the Enneagram is being able to recognize when we are healthy, what that looks like, and how to choose into health. For someone who feels stuck, it is empowering to recognize times in their lives when they have been free to live in their strengths and to know they can be there again someday. For those who haven’t experienced many positive moments, the Enneagram is like a roadmap, pointing them towards what health and growth can look like in their lives.

We are never stagnant people. As those who teach growth mindset say, we must learn the power of “yet.” We each have unique abilities and super powers that we may not be utilizing “yet.” Instead of saying “I can’t,” through the Enneagram we can learn to say, “I can’t yet.” Rather than focusing on our failures, we can say “I’m not accessing my strengths yet. But I will.”

2. Recognize Your Core Beliefs About Yourself

As I mentioned above, the Enneagram helps us understand why we do what we do. The Enneagram highlights Core Motivations for each type including their Core Fear (that they are always avoiding) and their Core Desire (what they believe will complete them if they could only attain it). These motivations are the lens through which we interact with the world. We believe our fear is a real threat at any moment and that we must have what we most desire or we won’t be okay.

For example: For a Type 3, The Performer, her Core Fear is failure and being seen as inadequate so she will do whatever it takes to not fail. She believes that in order to avoid her Core Fear she must overcompensate by being the best at whatever she does. She Desires to be seen as successful and good enough, believing she can only find acceptance through what she does.

However, what she needs is to come to a place of knowing she is worthy of love apart from what she does. Her Core Fear and Core Desire perpetuate the negative thought patterns. Discovering the ultimate True Need can help break that pattern.

3. Become Friends with Yourself

It is immensely difficult to learn to offer compassion to ourselves but with the Enneagram offering an objective perspective, we can take a step back and see ourselves the way we see our friends and loved ones. My guess is you would never judge someone else the way you judge yourself. You would never say to someone else what you say to yourself.

When we can see our internal struggle and have it outlined for us, we can then recognize our need for love and begin to offer that love to ourselves. We can offer ourselves compassion and learn to receive God’s love by caring for ourselves. If we begin to learn others’ types and their inner voices, their Core Fears, Desires, and Needs, we can then see we are one of many who is wounded and seeking healing.

Becoming friends with yourself is the journey of a lifetime. There is no failure here. We are all on this journey and we are all seeking to find love. We all need love. The Enneagram can help us discover and receive it.

So what are the different types? Last week I described different ways to discover your type, but I will begin to outline them in more detail next week. See you then!